Riva

So summer is officially over. *Sigh* I hope everyone had a good one. It's been hectic for me - to say the least. A very emotional time, I've grown a lot more over these past 3 months. I always tend to do most of my observations and learn most of my lessons between June-September. I wonder why that is? Perhaps it's because I have a little more time for 'me'. So what have I learned this year? I'll let my shots do most of the talking. I have discovered and confirmed that I am a romantic, to the core, and until I find someone that is like me, I will remain single and alone. Nostalgia always hits me in a hard place, as do public displays of affection and pairs. It's foolish but that's how I feel. Based on my 'mood' (at the top) - I think it's easy to infer that I'm feeling sorry for myself. This will last a while, I went through a bad break up. But this is how to get over it. Be constructive. Hence:

Enough of that - I'm still on holiday though, for a bit less than a week before term starts soooo thought I would upload the fruits of my labours/travels.

Not only did I go to India (my last series of shots) but I also managed to get down to New York City, Jamaica and Cuba! It was an immense holiday, I took more than 400 shots! Don't worry, I'll be uploading a lot less than that on here, however - they are all exciting in their own way. I could just NOT stop clicking! My favourite was Havana obviously - I felt like I'd just gone back in time 50 years, except everyone was wearing normal clothes. It was as Communist as a place gets, but truly beautiful in the way Mumbai is - a deep, historical and crumbling beauty embedded in the roots of Cuba.

I found NYC to be quite 'unphotogenic' - everything seemed modern, bulky and filled with concrete so I only submitted 2 photos. However, in Jamaica I focused on the natural beauty of the sea, beach, plants - nature in all its splendour. In Havana, I mainly concentrated on architecture, automobiles and cultural history. I hope you enjoy these photos - they took a lot out of me. I am knackered from clicking, uploading, editing & submitting. I do find them inspirational and totally worth it though! Hope you do too

"In India, I found a race of mortals living upon the Earth, but not adhering to it, inhabiting cities, but not being fixed to them, possessing everything, but possessed by nothing" - Apollonius Tyanaeus

I just returned from a 4-day trip from the motherland (Mumbai, India). I hadn't been back since I was 15 and previously did not have great memories from the city I hail from. This trip proved to completely alter my view of the place.

Previously, visiting India simply meant illness, discomfort, inconvenience, disgust (by the pollution, dirt and lack of sanitation) and most importantly, sadness (obviously because of the poverty). After my most recent visit, the sadness still remains, but replacing all the other emotions are: patriotism, national pride, appreciation and awe. Today I see India as a country that has a natural, melancholic beauty - something that has been earned by it's history and the pain it has endured as a nation. I see it for what it is, naked, stripped, it is tragically inspiring. Having grown up in Dubai, I can now compare Dubai to Mumbai. Dubai is the zircon, or the swarovski crystal - the fake, cheaper version to the real thing. It is glass, man-made and can be shattered at the lightest touch. Mumbai is the diamond. So real, and permanent, built on foundations from the earth itself. Sure, it has its poverty, pollution, corruption and crime, amongst other negative qualties but: "All, like the diamond is charcoal before being light." - The Lost City

I love it and have tried to capture it's ethereal purity in my most recent shots. If you are interested, check them out and I urge you to visit - you will return a changed person, I promise this. Enjoy!

"Time is not what it is, but how it is felt" - Zadie Smith

It's true, y'know? I feel different. It's been more than a year since a journal entry, so there is so much to talk about. A girl of many words, I am, but I've realised that in the past, I used them to fill the space and emptiness in my life. Words helped me heal. Time does not heal all wounds for me..it's in the words. I love that, because then patience is not required, all that is needed is the emotion to write. And I have that by the bucket load! (Obviously, based on my journal entries and poetry!) So what is there to say that wouldn't be boring and monotonous but instead, engaging and entertaining?

I looked back through a lot of these entries and they are all very negative. It seems that I only turn to this journal when I am upset. This explains a lot because generally, I write when I am upset too - it's the strongest emotion for me, anger and sorrow. But today is a new day. I was moaning about 'change' for a very long time, and things are constantly changing. More specifically, I am changing. Definitely. I can feel it. I haven't felt the urge to spew a bitter speech of loathing into this journal for over a year, that is fantastic! Does that mean I'm finally happy? Content?

Unfortunately, not even close. Haha, I mean, come on, seriously, who ever reaches a permanent stage of contentment? But I've realised that it really doesn't matter, because life needs to be lived in the moments. It is in the moments that we are at our best, and worst. And that is all. Appreciate, cherish and cling to the moments that take your breath away.

I will be making more of an effort to submit some of my recent work. I've been away at uni, bogged down by essays and assignments, but some have produced creative poems that I'm quite proud of. Photography has been sidelined for now, and instead I've been writing a lot more, so if you enjoy my poems, watch this space cause there'll be quite a few new, exciting pieces up asap!
Take care, and thanks for the support.
Much love,
x

Firstly, SORRRRRRRRYYY!! Apologies to everyone whose work I usually and regularly comment on, I've been EIN BERLIN for the past week or so, which explains my disappearance. Good news is, Sexy's Back with loads of new photographs and some interesting new phrases from Germany: LUSH MEIN PILOMON! (not sure how you spell it, but it means, SUCK MY DICK!) Lol.. and DAS IS GUT? JAAAAA! And my all time favourite which I made up after getting completely wasted and finding some ugly men sexy: BERLIN GOGGLES! So I'm wearing my Berlin Goggles currently, and I shall be submitting in da very near future! Enjoy xx

Where'd you go?
I miss you so.
Seems like its been forever,
That you've been gone...
Just come back home.

(Where'd You Go - Fort Minor)

Promises. Why do we make them when we have no intention of keeping them, or simply cannot, no matter how hard we try? I hate it when people I care about leave my life. What's worse is when they re-enter; it brings back pain, nostalgia. And what is the worst is when they keep doing it, disappearing and reappearing for a brief, unsubstantial and unsatisfying amount of time. Don't they realise it hurts when they repeatedly depart?

Promises are broken, crushed along with my mood and my heart. I'm given hope, and then it is snatched quickly away from my grasp, before I even have a chance to savour it. Hope is meant to guide me and get me through the day; instead it destroys me and makes me self-loathing, hating the fact that I allowed myself to fall for it yet again.

Promises I make, I keep. Because I know how it feels when you're let down by someone you love. When someone abandons you without rhyme or reason, and you're left wondering what on earth went wrong?